Look y’all, not since we “failed to impress” in AP Physics have we thought “Oh look, let’s just throw our hat into the ring and talk about science.” Like, we took a job in comedy to NEVER have to talk about science. But… here we are.

So let’s be very clear: It’s fucking ridiculous that in the year 2018 (certainly one of the worst but still, you know, the present) there’s a measles outbreak. Look, we’d never casually be like, “Look, we know nothing about rockets, but let’s just start building this thing and THEN YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT TO SPACE.”

And still, extremists taking a quick break from screaming in the woods of Charlotte, North Carolina, have decided they’re ALL DOCTORS NOW and you have to take them seriously. Sure, they might understand nothing about birth control, but they’re decide life has begun as soon as you get splooged in, so dammit, if they own a company, you better believe they DESERVE to deny their employees healthcare. And you know in this country we care more about companies than human beings.

In Ohio the house has just all decided they’re scientists and that life begins when pain begins (GOTH scientists) even though… that is not true that the blob forming in your body can feel pain at that point and IT’S DEF not true it has a heartbeat, but… gah, now it closer to becoming law because 60 people voted for it in the House!

And we love that ACTUAL LIVE SCIENTISTS whose job is… LITERALLY TO CURE ALZHEIMER’S are now getting the same time with those in power as … a bunch of frickin’ idiots who’ve decided that stem cell research is bad because reasons. I MEAN IF WE WEREN’T ALL GONNA DIE FROM CLIMATE CHANGE, THESE ANTI-CHOICERS WOULD EFFECTIVELY BE KILLING GENERATIONS OF PEOPLE.

So today we’d like to say: don’t CASUALLY dip your toe into a thing you don’t understand and then be like “What I say should be law now.”