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Welcome to “Hypocrite Corner” or as we like to call it “Every Day of the Week When You’re Anti-Choice.” 

You know how in Alabama that politician suggested that men should have to have mandatory vasectomies after they turned 50 and successfully trolled every anti-abortion idiot ever??? Yes, it’s because they’re stupid. They’re stupid as shit. We can smugly be like “SEE doesn’t it SUCK to have your reproductive rights controlled by the state?” (and hahaha, it is funny) but… the truth is they’d never allow this. HAHAHAHA! Cuz they always just know they’re gonna have rights! HAHAHAHAHA!

Hypocrite corner continues with this article titled “211 state crisis hotline could lose accreditation if it complies with proposed anti-abortion requirement.” As I was reading this I was like “Why the fuck am I… still reading this article?” It’s so long! It’s so long and it boils down to a bunch of idiot hypocrites being like “See we CAN hold the budget hostage for this hotline that’s literally meant to help people in crisis because WE CARE ABOUT FETUSES!” 

So basically, because life is a constant nightmare of compromises, this 211 hotline was GONNA follow the state’s rule that they can never mention abortion to people… again, in fucking crisis… just please give them their money. Except… the whole purpose of the fucking crisis hotline is to be impartial and just help people… again… IN CRISIS! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! And then we have to read like 700 additional words of anti-abortion fuckwads trying to JUSTIFY why they aren’t breaking the fundamental purpose of a CRISIS HOTLINE! 

“Naw but like, if we just don’t help ANYONE who’s pregnant, then we don’t have to help people who want abortions.” BITCH, WHAT?? This article should’ve ended with “anti-abortion people realize that their little gambit actually breaks the law and back down.” But literally they like… don’t even back down about making up fake science, they certainly won’t back down about this.

And that brings us to the last human person we can’t believe fucking exists in the world. So 72-hour waiting periods for abortion… literally serve no purpose. They literally cannot be proven to be helpful under any circumstance. Their express purpose is to convince people out of having an abortion. IMAGINE any other fucking law that patronizes this strong, “We’re doing this because we hope your women brain will reconsider this decision you made with it.” 

But so, Iowa is trying to pass one of these bills that makes you wait 72 hours for an abortion. And the article we read pointed out like “hey, you’re already trying to pass an amendment that says there’s no right to an abortion… why not just wait until that passes!” 

And a human man

A HUMAN MAN

SAID THE FOLLOWING:

“I’m not patient.”

“I’m not patient.’

“I’m not patient.”

A HUMAN PERSON WITH NO IRONY SAID HE WANTS TO MAKE WOMEN, NONBINARY PEOPLE, AND TRANS MEN WAIT 72 HOURS TO GET A MEDICAL PROCEDURE BECAUSE HE, NONE OF THE THINGS WE JUST LISTED, IS NOT PATIENTTTTTTTTTT..

*RUNS OFF INTO THE WOODS TO FLEE SOCIETY NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN***