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Look, we all know the Federalist is garbage. We all know it’s a bunch of dudes who failed every philosophy class they ever took asking you to “debate” them. We all know it’s dudes who couldn’t understand Derrida but once read this other guy, name escapes them, who they also misunderstood but now that’s their whole life philosophy.

They are so fun to dunk on, so fucking easy to tear apart that I went in to reading one of their articles today thinking it’d be a funny little blog, destroying this dude point by point. But now my hands are shaking and I feel like I might black out with rage. And I wouldn’t infect you all with his nasty, odious little mind but I think we ALL need to see what we’re working with here. Because this fucking sniveling mucus-covered sea monster who wrote this article shouldn’t be able to call himself a human being and YET he is basically spouting what  the majority of lazy, useless anti-abortion supporters believe.

The title of this article is “Woman Who Killed Baby Over Maternity Leave Proves Welfare Won’t Fix Abortion.” So, some background, literally a month ago (The Federalist is always up on the latest news), Charlotte Sullivan wrote a heartbreaking column for the Guardian about terminating her pregnancy when she realized she did not qualify for her work’s family leave. She also says her husband at the time was making less than minimum wage (we bring that up now, it becomes important later in talking about this asshole Federalist guy). We say there are no good or bad abortions, only the abortion you need. But we also know that we must fight for people like Sullivan who didn’t really have a choice. A lot of people don’t. Many people want to continue their pregnancies but realize they can’t afford childcare, food and shelter, or time off of work. Not everyone can leap and hope they find the money. And so we fight for these people too by advocating for stronger paid family leave, Medicare For All, better federal programs. 

We thought this dude was just railing about how much he hates the idea of everyone in our country having healthcare, but no he instead decided to personally attack Sullivan for her financial planning. And again, we wouldn’t share this unfounded and vicious attack except THIS IS WHAT THEY ALL THINK. 

So he is mad that she didn’t just use her sick days and take some  … unpaid leave (a thing everyone is definitely allowed to do) or talk to her HR manager about making an exception for her (a thing she says she also thinks about often… but also ASKING A JOB YOU JUST STARTED ABOUT ACCOMMODATING YOUR PREGNANCY IS VERY SCARY, RANDOM STUPIDFUCK DUDE WRITING THIS ARTICLE WHO WOULD NEVER HAVE TO DO THAT). And he concludes that when you consider the, you know, few sick days you could take: “This means she aborted her child because she was at risk of losing a few weeks’ pay.” I mean, people get FIRED for being pregnant, but go off, king. Also… PEOPLE LIVE PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK YOU NIGHTMARE PERSON. 

We’d like to, in a way after rage punching every wall, thank this dude for showing how fucking shortsightedly idiotic all anti-abortion people are. Because… just look at that sentence we just quoted. Do you think… this woman… writing this article… was like “Man, I could really use that $2k in 9 months and that’s all I’m considering now!” No OBVIOUSLY FUCKING NOT! CHILDREN COST SO MANY THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS A YEAR! So you lose those weeks of pay, if your job lets you take an unpaid leave at all,  then you go back and you need childcare. Then you need diapers and clothes and bottles and… JESUS FUCKING CHRIST TO SAY THAT THIS PAID LEAVE THING IS ALL THAT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED IS JUST IDIOTIC.  

And he like… harps on it. It’s very disheartening to see the Federalist “I’m just a dude debating you look how LOGICAL my argument is… oops I pooped my pants” style of writing used so pointedly on one human being. Let’s just look at this one section:

She concludes her self-justification by declaring that “our situation did not embody the climate of confidence we agreed was necessary for us to be parents.”

This shift from paid leave to a general “climate of confidence” gives the game away. If this was just about a few weeks of pay, it raises the question of whether there was some way for the author to raise that money in lieu of having her child killed.

So she writes a perfect explanation of how she didn’t feel financially ready to have a child and he reads that and is like, “A-ha! Got you!” ALSO SHE SAID EARLIER HER HUSBAND MADE LESS THAN MINIMUM WAGE! Do you fucking think she makes like 250k and they just decided to live in a small apartment for funesies? If someone told me they made less than minimum wage so were debating not going out to dinner tonight I’d be like “oh yeah, sure dude.” LET ALONE DECIDING WHETHER TO RAISE A CHILD FOR 18 YEARS!

It’s just… WE CAN’T EVEN WRAP OUR HEAD around him writing that this is about a few weeks of unpaid leave. Has he never been poor? Has he never missed a day of work in an hourly job and then not been able to have anything but pasta for two weeks and then wondered how even weeks later it feels like you can’t get back to zero debt?

The rest of his argument  is that abortion will never be “unthinkable” even in a socialist state so… like we shouldn’t give people free healthcare only like a little better healthcare (the “free blanket” CPC argument) . Honestly, writing this all out, now I feel better. He’s just an idiot. 

Anyway not to USE HIS DEVICE THAT IS BAD against him but … he gives the game away in the last paragraph. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Sure, this dude hates abortion, but what he ultimately hates, is women. And the idea that women can make decisions.

“She didn’t get an abortion because it was impossible for her to afford her baby; she got an abortion because she didn’t want her baby.” Look this sentence is gross and we hate him and we hate everything he stands for and we hate the way he goes after this woman (but we love that she prob won’t read it because the Federalist is trash, lol). But, it’s proof that you don’t need to justify yourself to anyone. This woman literally wrote her heart out in this article and this dude is like “Nuh uh, don’t believe it, you suck!” So… why bother thinking you need to justify your decision to them (not that that’s what she’s doing, but in general)? They’re just gonna be unsympathetic assholes always.

Fuck ‘em. Everyone deserves healthcare, everyone deserves respect, advocate for better paid family leave, advocate for cheaper childcare, advocate for more federal funding to help parents. Abortion on demand and without apology.