In this next installment of our Lady Parts Justice League series – Sauron’s Army – we continue to explore the key players that Donald Trump has chosen to surround himself with. We're looking at his advisors and the people he’s appointing to his cabinet, all of whom are strongly anti-choice (like, obsessively). Today we uncomfortably eyeball Mike Pompeo aka Gorbag, the Captain of Minas Morgul Amy.

Mike Pompeo is Trump’s choice to be Director of The Central Intelligence Agency, after he takes the helm, maybe we should just call it The Central Agency.

You may recall when Gorbag (so hard not to pronounce it Garbage), in Return of the King, orders his compadre Orcs to take a paralyzed Frodo back to the Tower of Cirith Ungol. We the viewers, along with Samwise, panic, OH NO OH NO OH NO! This can’t be!!!! That’s the same feeling one gets when seeing Pompeo’s voting record on women’s reproductive rights.

Pompeo is a pro-life Republican congressmen from Kansas, member of the Tea Party Movement (the more recent tea party, not the one with actual tea,) and is Donnie Trump’s pick to head the CIA.

Here are some highlights of Pompeo’s personal statements and voting history:
– Considers himself to be “pro-life” (an arguable term).
– Believes that life begins at conception with no exceptions (even for science) and received 100% score from the National Right to Life Committee (oooooooooh, a 100)!
– Signed the No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion Act.
– Co-sponsored the Title X Abortion Provider Prohibition Act which prohibits federal funding to Planned Parenthood and independent clinics.
– Sponsored the Pro-Life Act which prohibits information about abortion from being provided at school health centers.
– Co-sponsored the Sanctity of Human Life Act which declared that rights begin at fertilization.
– Wants to include “pre-borns” under the protections of the 14th Amendment. WHAT THE ACTUAL F%&K ARE WE TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?! PRE-BORNS?!?!?!?!! Is this some 1984-eqsue nightmare in our vaginas kind of thing?!

Women, we must be vigilant, we must guard our vagina castles; they are under attack from garbage garbage garbage people!