We're winding down our second leg of the Abortion AF Tour and we wanted to let you know what's been going down on the road! So strap in to hear about all the nonsense people we say protesting the clinic in Houston. Take it away, road correspondent, Molly!

You know what they say: Nothing changes a gal’s opinion about having an abortion abortion faster than an underage Catholic virgin sweating bullets in an ill-fitting wool suit drearily mumbling latin. The drab god squad was out in half-force this week at the Houston Women’s Clinic  in Texas. They had lots of anti-choice signs, and exactly zero harmonies to go along with their songs. I tried to teach them, I forget that not all of God’s children have perfect pitch. Or any pitch.

Every man that had a sign that said he would adopt your baby, confirmed to us that they have adopted exactly zero babies. One of these men also had scissors tucked in his belt, I guess as some sort of arts and crafts Hobby Lobby open carry power play? Needless to say, not one person who came into the abortion clinic that day opted to hand over their fetus to Hobby Lobby Cowboy.

The misogynist megaphone was out, and a gentleman in a drug store Jesus tee was intent on using it to try to “get through” to patients in the clinic. We distracted him with facts and science, which worked really well because nothing gets a drugstore Jesus buff madder than a woman unchained from the stove, speaking her mind, and all without the permission of her husband!