Here’s a little Friday story. Your blogger returned from a short trip to DC, excited from all the amazing groups of reproductive rights activists who showed up and cheered on the Center for Reproductive Rights as they argued June Medical Services v. Russo. And my roommate asked how it was and then said, “Yeah, that all got overshadowed by Super Tuesday stuff.” AHHHHHHHHHHHHH INTO THE ABYSS FOREVERRRRRR!

So, let’s just do a quick recap of the case, cuz, y’all, our side’s lawyer, Julie Rikelman, seriously kicked some ass. And we just want to shout out Slate for this article titled, “Anti-Abortion Advocates Lied So Poorly That John Roberts May Side With the Liberals.” They literally, are so stupid all the time. They can’t even make ANY sort of decent argument because everything they do is so blatant and transparent. They had MONTHS to lie for this! They had MONTHS to make up a fucking good lie about how much they cared and they… couldn’t do it.

A couple fun points. So one of the other side’s arguments was that doctors… wait for it… “sabotaged their own applications” to get admitting privileges. Weird that you can just make up some fan fiction and then the Supreme Court has to listen to it [big sidebar to say that the lawyer ALSO argued that even though only four cases of having to go to the hospital have occurred in the LAST FUCKING 23 YEARS, there was no actual way to know how many people went to the hospital. Except that it… seems to be a fact that is reported on. And if it WASN’T reported on because the patient didn’t go to the clinic then… ADMITTING PRIVILEGES WOULDN’T HELP ANYWAY. JESUS CHRIST WHAT A BAD ARGUMENT!]  

But also… guys… WHY would these doctors DELIBERATELY sabotage themselves. WHAT WOULD BE THE GAIN?? MORE TIME HAVING TO TALK TO THESE ANTI-ABORTION DILLWEEDS??? Like, why wouldn’t they just want to get it taken care of and then never have to talk to anti-abortion people again? 

And then, ok, we got played (in a good way) by Justice Ginsburg who asked Hey um… why the arbitrary 30 mile thing when there are a lot of patients who travel HOURS to get abortions??? YEAH MAN! We hadn’t even thought of that in the infinity list of why these restrictions are bullshit but… honestly… great effing point!!!!!

OK let’s get to the SECOND equally scary part of the June Medical Services v. Russo case. See, anti-abortion jerks decided to go on the OFFENSIVE in a case where they had NO STANDING because they are SO EFFING CONFIDENT. But they also like… seemed to do zero preparation. Moving on. So they were trying to argue (sorry uncontrollably laughing at this) that abortion doctors don’t have standing in a case about protecting patients. LOLOLOLOLOLOL you simple fools. WHAT? This imagines such a cynical fucking world. Like somehow doctors WOULDN’T want the safest possible situation for their patients? Like, WHAT? 

Here at least, we hope the court agrees. Justice Breyer (who like, we forget, but go off zaddy), was like “Do you really think y’all are smart enough to get us to overturn 8 decades of precedent?” and he followed it up with “Do you really think your stupid ass is gonna overturn Roe?” PARAPHRASING HERE OF COURSE. It’s funny that we could maybe win this on a precedent issue and not, the more obvious, your argument makes no effing sense. But… honestly, we’ll take a win whatever way we can get it.

So yes, it seems ridiculous that our VERY competent lawyers argued against literal fools who made no good points and wrote some fan fiction, and yet, somehow, we DON’T know how this case is gonna turn out because we live in truly the DARKEST timeline. BUT we have hope. And we especially send love to everyone who is getting an abortion today, tomorrow, next week. And everyone who is providing one. While all this nonsense happens, the work continues. 

We’ll persist.