All this nonsense in Ohio has made this a ROUGH week! But good news, after some kickass, relentless work from our friends at NARAL Pro-Choice Ohio, the vote on the 6-week abortion ban has been delayed. Why don’t we go ahead an delay that bad boy forever, and get to work on some real stuff to help people, guys.

Speaking of 6-week bans, how’s that 6-week ban working out for you Iowa? Oh, the lawyers fighting you are asking for summary judgement? In case y’all don’t watch 10 hours of crime shows a day, real quick, let us, all certified lawyers cuz of the hours of crime shows we’ve watched, explain summary judgment. It’s basically the lawyer (in this case the GOOD lawyer) being like “Your case is so flimsy it doesn’t even warrant going to court.” And honestly, correct, it’s correct. Cuz a 6-week abortion ban is 100% against what Roe says is constitutional. We were gonna make a funny joke here about what it would be like (“creating a law that’s like ‘no free speech though,’” creating a law that’s like “But actually no ‘more perfect union.’”), but honestly, shitty people have made so many shitty laws… it’s not funny. The judge will decide on the summary judgment today, so this could all be over soon… except it obvs won’t be.

Which brings us to the Supreme Court and this very disheartening article about all the sneaky ways they could try to end Roe. Except, y’all, these fools are about as sneaky as the opposite of a fox. They’re about as sneaky as Chris Christie shutting down a beach for a family vacation. Like, this 6-week abortion ban is just so BLATANTLY an “all abortion ban” it’s… ridiculous. “You can get an abortion, but only when you are not pregnant.”

They’re as sneaky as… a Catholic hospital trying to hide their real agenda. Well actually… sadly, a Catholic hospital can be kinda sneaky. But they’re still pretty blatant. Take this great article from Rewire about how there’s no real testing done to see what happens AFTER a person is denied reproductive care at a Catholic hospital.

We just want to single out one particularly INFURIATING response from a hospital official “We prefer not to make our patients aware of what we don’t offer.” Oh dip? Really? Birth Control isn’t like… a risky, but innovative new procedure none of your doctors can perform. It’s BASIC HEALTHCARE. AND patients deserve to be aware that your hospital doesn’t provide basic healthcare.

Can’t believe we still have to say this.

“Real quick, this hospital doesn’t have beds… but we prefer not to tell people what we don’t have.”