There are lots of creepy relatives people have to face off with this year over the holidays. Imagine being TI’s daughter, or Ben Shapiro’s cousin, or Papa John’s, oh, anything. Even if you don’t have to sit across from them, you prolly have your own version staring at you telling you that people are trying to abort their babies AFTER they’ve been born. So we made this little handy dandy guide for you to get through the holidays without backing down! Pass the stuffing and SOME KNOWLEDGE! 

If some blathering Uncle brings up “Late Term abortion” 

Remember: There's No Such Thing as Late-Term Abortion or Partial-Birth Abortion

These terms were made up by the anti-abortion movement to make it sound like we were like… aborting babies AS THEY WERE BEING BORN a thing we are not doing… or that people were waiting around and getting abortions too late. Hmmm you know what ACTUALLY pushes people to have abortions later?? All the ridiculous hoops like waiting periods, mandatory sonograms, notary consent, and more that you make patients jump through who have ALREADY decided they want an abortion.

PARENTS DOT COM a website that legit advertises with a cute picture of baby feet, even THEY were not tricked by this propaganda and they wrote a great article explaining why you should not use these medically inaccurate terms. 

There are SEVERAL medical reasons to have an abortion and also, fuck you for asking.

We can’t believe we STILL have to talk about this. BECAUSE IT IS A DISTRACTION! Everyone should have access to abortion. Some anti-abortion (and some pro-choice people… tea) people act like they should get to hear every single person’s reason for getting an abortion and then get to decide yes or no. AND NO WAY, LOSER, GET A HOBBY! Like, “Oh I think this person was too irresponsible… so now I want them to raise a fucking child and also risk death in childbirth.” NOPE! Be judgmental about Karen’s contribution to church potluck, not this! 

BUT BUT BUT and again, distraction, but how fucking DARE you argue (and yes, this is happening on a regular basis), that there is NEVER a medically necessary reason to get an abortion. Or that it’s somehow something ELSE when it’s not convenient to your argument. So if you, Papa Johns, want to argue this ONE please read this heartbreaking, essential article from Erika Christensen of RHA vote. And also, if you’d like to come to our comedy show on December 17 she’ll be talking about advocating for patients and more! Just in case you see Papa John again at Christmas! 

It’s not a heartbeat if it’s a 6-week fetus

Read the terrific Dr. Jen Gunter’s blog on this subject. Calling these things “heartbeat bills” (which have all been blocked, btw) is some maudlin shit meant to provoke people into outrage, but at 6-weeks it is not a FULL HEART NO DUH, it is fetal pole cardiac activity. Also if the fetus were not in the womb… that cardiac pole would not work on its own. So your whole “isn’t heartbeat how we decide if something is alive” thing DOES NOT WORK! 

You can put a pepperoni back on a pizza, but you can’t put an ectopic pregnancy back in the uterus!

CAN’T BELIEVE WE HAVE TO KEEP FUCKING SAYING THIS! 

Happy Thanksgiving!