Y’all we have a very busy week here. We’re trying to get people to suppor Missouri by donating to Gateway Fund, because of the awful news that the Show-Me-State could lose ITS LAST abortion clinic this week. We’re thrilled about Illinois pushing forward its own Reproductive Health Act through the house. We’re STRESSED about Clarence Thomas arguing that… gah… BIRTH CONTROL is even responsible for … gah… Eugenics all while, as several writers astutely point out, never actually referencing ANY women of color.

And so, we’ve been feeling kinda overwhelmed and agitated. Which is why honestly, honestly, it felt like a FUCKING GIFT to us that today the Federalist published THIS ARTICLE: “Why It Doesn’t Matter For Abortion If Pro-Lifers Don’t Care About People After They’re Born.”

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

OMG we love it, we love it so much. Can we frame it?? Can we keep it?

The truth is, the Federalist writes articles like this EVERY WEEK that are like “It doesn’t matter that we’re all a bunch of shitheads… we’re right” or “It doesn’t matter that this politician is a pedophile… he supports the unborn” or “it doesn’t matter that we just murdered 20 women… we’re protecting the unborn.” Just like… some nonsense.

And it’s ALWAYS by some wannabe philosophy major who has decided the way we worked through issues in FUCKING COLLEGE is how we should talk about politics. And it is PERFECT because this article is ACTUALLY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WITH A DEGREE IN PHILOSOPHY.

A man who wrote… this sentence, “Now it is possible, believe it or not, both to take the pro-life argument seriously and to believe that the people making it are not horrible people.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Why not both, we say!

Honestly, nothing is funnier to us than being mansplained by a straight-up idiot. Like, every line is like “hey, little lady, did you ever stop to think that maybe we have to argue with the issue ON A PHILOSOPHICAL LEVEL.”

We never link to things but… you should find it and read it if you just wanna like, fuel the burning rage inside of you. Like, if you need to take down some drywall in your area, just read it, then one SWIFT PUNCH WILL DO.

Because like we ALWAYS SAY: OF COURSE IT MATTERS THAT ANTI-ABORTION PEOPLE ARE HYPOCRITES WHEN IT COMES TO ALL OTHER THINGS REGARDING THE VALUE OF “LIFE”! People don’t exist in a bubble! Situations and circumstances are not COMPLETELY irrelevant!

You obviously cannot just think of abortion as a thing that happens devoid of the PERSON who is having the abortion! That’s not how the real world works.

So this is just a forever reminder that the side that DOESN’T HAVE TO WRITE “OK our side may be terrible BUT…” is the correct side.

Thanks!