Let me just say at the outset that I decided to moderate this important conversation because I too am a masturbation survivor. It almost destroyed my life. I went to a very dark place of selfishness and self-abuse. But with the love and support of the masturbation survivor community, I was able to accept responsibility for what I had done, move on with my life, and learn to love myself again.

My masturbation took place when I was young. I wasn’t properly prepared to make important decisions regarding the precious package in my pants that God had entrusted me with. I betrayed God’s trust. When I masturbated, I thought only of myself. Well, of myself and of the girl who sat in front of me in 10th grade English class. And sometimes Salma Hayak. But I wasn’t thinking of the beautiful sperm-life that was joyously swimming in the semen I so thoughtlessly spilled.   

Taking responsibility for our actions is what turns masturbators into recovering masturbators. We can’t bring back the billions and billions of sperm that we spewed into tissues, sheets, dirty socks, the bedroom ceiling, and the potpourri bowl on the back of the toilet even though that last one was truly an accident and hopefully mom never noticed. But what we can do is take responsibility for the wasted years and the murdered sperm.

I am truly in awe of the courageous men in this video. They are my masturbation recovery family. Their bravery in confronting the consequences of their masturbation is an inspiration to me, and I’m sure it will be for you too. Enjoy. Learn. Love.

Watch “I Regret My Masturbation: Responsibility”