Ohio why do you play yourself like this? Over and over again! This week, the Ohio House passed, 58-35, an extremely disingenuously named “Heartbeat” bill. It now goes to the Senate and will go to Kasich again who has said he’ll veto it, again. So it goes…

Except not really, because now the Supreme Court is STACKED with judges who are hostile towards abortion and judges who like to talk a big talk about loving little babies and wanting to protect them (protecting women? Well… not so much.)

And you know what, we’re fed up with that kinda FAKE sincerity! We like babies here! We just don’t like people TELLING US WHAT TO DO WITH OUR BODIES. And the Ohio abortion debates have really, really bummed us out. Because we don’t see how people could see someone in pain, talking about women who were raped and are traumatized, talking about people who want babies but then find out that the baby is sick, talking about all the REAL, complicated things that define life, and deciding “Naw, none of YOUR pain means you are alive, only the little cell in your body matters.”

Honestly, there’s something kinda poetic about saying that life begins when pain begins. EXCEPT OBVIOUSLY A CLUMP OF CELLS DOES NOT “FEEL PAIN.” This science is completely bunk and like, what we imagine happened is some anti-choicer asked a scientist about what defines pain or a heartbeat… and the scientist, like all good scientists, gave perhaps a too-long, nuanced answer and the anti-choicer thought “OK good, now this clump of cells feels pain.”

Let us be very clear for the hundred thousandth time WE ARE THE EMPATHETIC SIDE. We see all the messy parts of life and understand that to judge someone for a decision or a heartbreaking reality… is really fucked up. And when a mom or dad really really want their baby AND when everything works out and they get their baby, we ARE HAPPY. Because we understand that so many things have to go one way for this to happen. And we understand that so many times, they go another way. MAYBE TRY TO HAVE ONE FIFTH OF THIS UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT LIFE IS BEFORE YOU TRY TO LEGISLATE BODIES, OHIO!

So stop parading your fucking TWINS on the floor while saying that cases of rape shouldn’t mean you can have an abortion (this is a bummer REAL thing that happened). Just because you are holding a baby doesn’t mean you’re a good person! Caring about people does!