Every day we read a lot of fascinating and vital articles (mostly in local papers) about abortion rights. Most of the time they’re about how abortion rights are being eroded, and it’s a real bummer. But there’s something that’s really been grinding our gears recently that we had to get off our chest: YOU DO NOT NEED TO INTERVIEW SOME HATEFILLED SPOKESASSHOLE FROM BIG ANTI-ABORTION EVERY TIME YOU WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT ABORTION.

Look, we understand thinking an article needs to be “fair and balanced” or that if the other side is advocating that to get an abortion you have to show ten forms of ID and also take a 9-month class real quick, MAYBE YOU WANT A QUOTE FROM THEM ON WHY THEY SO MEAN. But if you’re writing a story about a woman who gave birth at an abortion clinic you don’t need to give Haters Incorporated A WHOLE PARAGRAPH quote. It’s not about them. Or if you’re writing about how Planned Parenthood is fighting back against Title X funding cuts, you don’t need to just, get a quote from a person who hates Planned Parenthood. Presenting the haters message is not presenting both sides, it’s allowing a fringe group space to spew hate and it’s presenting that hate as just “an opposing view.”

Plus, their quotes are always boring and predictable. Here’s an example:   “We’re gonna use the term unborn and be extra precious because MONSTERS LIKE YOU don’t understand, but we’ll never say any facts and  **NAW NAW NAW, I’M NOT LISTENING NOTHING LOGICAL YOU SAY WILL EVER PENETRATE MY BRAIN**.”

Also when you put the PR quote at the end of your piece, it gives it added weight. You went to journalism school, stop doing this! But also thank you, local press because you fight the good fight ON THE GROUND, and you have to deal with so much shit. We love you, we just don’t want to read the same hateful quote from the gargoyles over at “We’re Just A Bunch of Nice Grandma’s, Def Not a Bunch of Vengeful Uterus-Haters, LLC, INC., ™”.  

Oh and one more thing,stop letting Kristan Hawkins write so many frickin’ editorials. How does she have so much time to write when she’s just constantly being persecuted by our SIDE!