It is a truth universally acknowledged that anti-abortion fear mongers cannot keep it together for an entire article. Sure, they will get like, their one “reasonable sounding” lady to give a quote and like, idk, show the journalist their inspirational quotes posters. They can do that much. But… they’ll never be able to get to the FULL end of an article without completely losing it. So this is why when we saw the headline “As Planned Parenthood Gets Sidelined In Texas, Religious Group Steps In To Provide Contraception” we were INITIALLY furious (they are not SIDELINED they were FORCED OUT, there’s NO way they provide comprehensive contraceptives), but then we read the article and were like “Oh.” 

But again, just a reminder NPR, A LOT of people do not read the full article. So while you can of COURSE tease something or not tell the full story, maybe don’t IMPLY that these clinics are at all good. Because as the article shows, they … are not. 

NEVER FORGET THIS the federal government decided that in order to fuck over Planned Parenthood they were going to INSTEAD fuck over thousands of patients by making Title X USELESS. So these fake clinics called The Source, which is, honestly, v confusing, in Texas SAW that and were like “OK, how can we get this money that’s supposed to go to contraceptive providers to benefit us?” Because, as you know, unchecked religious organizations don’t get ENOUGH money. 

So The Source decided they’d offer… some contraceptives in addition to lying to people about abortions causing breast cancer. JUST FUN EVERYTHING IS FUN IT’S FUN THAT GOVERNMENT MONEY COULD GO TO THEM! 

But the article does get to how ridiculous this whole CHARADE is. Some select quotes “The only thing we don’t do is abortion. And you can go and Google and figure out where to do that.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES JUST GOOGLE IT, THAT’S OUR MESSAGE, WE DON’T SOLELY EXIST TO TRICK YOU IF YOU GOOGLE IT!

And then that’s a LIE because they also don’t offer IUDs. WHY? “As a faith-based organization, I believe that [when] sperm and egg come together it’s a new human life and so we want to protect that life. And so IUDs is not something that we will do, but pretty much everything else we will do.” OK so this makes LITERALLY no sense. You’re anti-all birth control then! Why you always LYING meme! You’re just doing anything to get this effing money! Except… you know… provide healthcare.

But again, we  are not completely dissing this article which does a good job of telling OUR side, which is “Hey, this money should be going to places that provide comprehensive care free of judgment.” 

Although, it does end with a quote from the anti-abortion guy being like “look how great and religious I am, I believe I am doing GOOD!” GOOD WOULDA BEEN NOT CUTTING MONEY FROM PLANNED PARENTHOOD AND PUTTING PEOPLE’S LIVES IN DANGER AND THEN YOU CAPITALIZE ON IT TO GET FEDERAL FUNDING, YOU SANCTIMONIOUS FUCK!