There’s an old adage they have in Iowa: If at first you don’t succeed, try try try again (to regulate women’s bodies and take away their right to make medical decisions for themselves).

That’s right, all in one week, Iowa republicans have outdone themselves and served up a bill that basically bans all abortions, and another that bans abortions at 20 weeks and gives parents say over their unmarried adult children’s bodies.


After only ONE DAY, The Hawkeye State republicans backtracked on their fetal heartbeat 6-week ban. Not because they think it’s insane (which it is) but because of the all the legal fees they are sure to rack up defending this pile of steaming shit in court. They instead decided to propose a 20-week abortion ban, which has been the ban de rigueur among anti-choice connoisseurs. This ban includes an exemption for the health of the mother, but does NOT include exemptions for incest, rape or fetal anomalies.

Slow. Shitty. Clap.

Hidden in this gem of a bill is a provision that gives parents the power to veto their ADULT kid’s decision to have an abortion if they are unwed.

As you can see, the fun thing about this bill is that it provides us a metaphorical time machine to the 1800’s when ankles were salacious and women were….nothing?  Here’s how it sounds in 2017 Republican speak in the bill: “injunctive relief to prevent a physician from performing abortions” may be obtained “by a parent or guardian of the woman if the woman is less than eighteen years of age or unmarried at the time the abortion was performed or attempted to be performed.”

So in Iowa, if you haven’t tied the knot, you are definitely NOT capable of making the decision to have an abortion. Because how can a woman ever make the right decisions without her husband or parents to advise? “OH DEAR. I’m pregnant? Pass me a fainting couch and vapors, how will my tiny brain and brittle lady bones ever make a decision on what to do next?”

Clearly Iowa Republicans have one goal in mind: To take away bodily autonomy. If one bill fails, they just continue to go down their diabolical list of ways to do it. Let’s hope they fail, the list burns, or they get lost in a corn maze where no one can hear them scream.