WTF, Missouri?

The “Show Me State” seems determined to show the world that it’s a major douche balloon.

In just the past few weeks, we’ve told you about Missouri trying to overturn a St. Louis ordinance that provides protection from workplace discrimination for those who have had an abortion, take contraception, use artificial insemination, or get pregnant out of wedlock.

Hot on the shit-heels of that, Missouri Senator Bob Onder wanted to change the name of the St. Louis Zoo to the “Midwest Abortion Sanctuary City Zoo.” He also suggested that women should get their abortions at the zoo.

Yo! Big MO! We’ve got 50 states full of anti-choice dick-weeds. We can’t be covering them all if you’re coughing up a hairball o’ misogyny every few minutes.

So what’s the latest from the “Blow Me State”? The Missouri House trying to pass (PUSH! PUSH!) a bill that would–wait for it–require a parent consenting to a minor's abortion to notify the second parent or legal guardian of the minor's plans to terminate a pregnancy.

For those of you who don’t speak ass-clown, what that means is that Missouri wants to stretch the concept of parental consent until an abortion for a pregnant minor becomes A FUCKING FAMILY AFFAIR. Are we going to have a voice vote or a roll call!?!

Needless to say, the families who will be deciding the fate of their unfortunate daughters will not always be Ozzie and Fucking Harriet. As the Houston Herald reported “Democrats said the amendment could allow abusive parents to be notified of an abortion, which could potentially put young women in danger.” YA THINK?

As the Herald noted, “Supporters of the amendment said it could help start conversations in families….” Yes. And some of those conversations will end with restraining orders.

GOP Rep. Rick Brattin said “I think we've got to do things that ensure that all parties have a vested interest in this life-ending, life-changing decision.” ALL PARTIES!?! The only one that matters is the person hosting this particular “party.”

It’s a pregnancy, not an infrastructure bill. Ultimately, the decision has to be made by the person who is pregnant–not their extended family, and surely not the Missouri House.